"Those That Matter Don't Mind And Those That Mind Don't Matter" Dr Suess

This is something that I hear a lot and I like it.  I just wish that I could always believe it.  Sometimes I want to matter to you and if I don't it bothers me.  Well, it bothers me for a litte while anyway.  When I was young it seemed to matter a lot more.  There are advantages to getting older.  The first one that comes to mind is that I will never have to ride a horse again; not that I rode horses often, but I did once when I was about 11 years old and I was scared.  At 11 being scared isn't cool, so I couldn't say I was scared.  And I never have to wear 4" spike heels again, although there was a time when I did enjoy wearing them.  I never have to wear makeup........wait a minute, I have never worn makeup, except for a couple of occasions, weddings I think, not my own, then it was done prefessionally; I still felt like a clown.  I do look funny with makeup, most people look better but I look strange.

Back to the quote; I guess those that matter really don't mind that much about me, they seem to accept me the way that I am, and the ones that mind really arn't that important most of the time.  I was going to write about "Thinking Out Loud".  But I am to tired to think even quietly tonight.  I was up about 7:30 a.m. and I am not used to that.  Up until I was terminated I was always up at that time. I just naturally woke up and showered and had coffee and got in my car and went to the office.  Now I get up to pee, then back to bed for a couple of more hours.  There are advantages and disadvantages to this.  I miss some beautiful sunrises.  I remember I used to drive my youngest son to work for 7 a.m.  I really enjoyed that, we had some great early morning talks and enjoyed each others company.  Although we don't talk that often,. he is the one of all my children that I can talk to about anything.  He understands me and I understand him, kind of scary, if you knew us better.  He never judges me, I wish I could say that I had never judged him, I have and I am sorry.  Mostly when I was sounding like I was judging, I was scared for him and didn't know how else to express that.  I Love You Rusty Roy.

Evening Thoughts

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011.........8:12p.m.