"It's A Queer Thing, But Imaginary Troubles Are Always harder To Bear Than Actual Ones" Dorothy Dix

Dorothy Dix has always been one of my favorite authors.  She was born November 18th, 1886 and died December 6th, 1951.  I know that if I had met her I would have really liked her.  Her writing is simple but wise and true.  Simple truths, the best kind, and I have never read anything about her that was apologetic for her thoughts and/or actions.  Yep, I would have liked her and I do admire her.
For me imaginary troubles are always far worse than the actual ones.  I, and probably most of us can go places in our imagination that we would never go in reality.  I think a lot of that has to do with time.  Time doesn't come into play much in our imagination.  In reality no matter how shocked we are, or how hurt or devasted, we are still in that moment.
When my Dad died in 1995, my sister had only been dead months.  On the morning before his funeral I went to the funeral home in Bobcaygeon, just to spend a couple of minutes with him alone, actually I went to open the top button on his shirt.  I couldn't let him be buried with his top button done up, I knew how he hated that.  Anyway, it was pouring down rain that morning and my next door neighbour had driven me.  We had to pull off the road on the road leading to my house, to let a fire truck pass us.  I looked at my neighbour, Fran. and said "my house is on fire".  She looked at me astonished and said "no Dayle, you have just been through so much these last few months, you are not thinking straight".  We drove about a kilometre to my house and the fire trucks were in the driveway, and the firemen were going through the wall with axes.  Apparently my son, who was helping me to clean up before family and friends arrived, had put some newspapers in the fireplace to burn them and a chimney fire started.  That was one of the times in my life when I was so tired and felt so lost that I just didn't want to be there.  I don't mean there, as in the location, I mean I didn't want to be aware anymore.  I had stopped drinking 10 years earlier, and that was one of the few times that I would have really wanted a drink, or a pill or anything that would remove from that reality.
Finally one of the firemen got a hold of my Dr and he came and gave me a shot, the kind you get in your arm, not the kind you drink.  My neighbour took me to her house and put me in her bed and I slept for about 5 hours.  Then I got up, went back home and did what I had to do, because with actual hard times that is what you do, you don't have any other choices.  At least none that I could think of.
So, yeah,  imaginary troubles can be harder that actual ones, because in my imagination I can't work out the time concept, in my imagination there seems to be no end to the trauma.  Thank you Dorothy Dix, you have helped me to work that one out.

Wednesday, March 16th, 2011...............11:53pm.