Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"I Guess I Just Wasn't Made For These Times"

This is a title of a song by the Beach Boys.  I am not sure what year it was written but I am guessing the 70s.  Here is the first stanza of the song:

"I keep looking for a place to fit
where I can speak my mind
I've been trying hard to find the people
that I won't leave behind".

"Where I can Speak My Mind"........I guess this blog is that place for me.  I knew way, way back, more than 60 years back, that talking wasn't safe.  Words were never safe leaving my mouth.  I think I was always able to write better than I spoke, or at least writing was safer.  Recently I have realized that I rush in and out of my topics when I blog.  And the other day while talking to a friend I understood why.  "I am telling the secrets".  Sometimes I wish no one ever read my blog, that way I could write all of the secrets.  Some of these secrets are so old, some are older than me, and I wonder why I feel they still have to be kept.  What will happen to me if I tell all the secrets?  Would I be empty if all the secrets were gone? Already I am feeling anxious.  It is a start, this knowing.  Maybe some of the secrets are so old they have turned to stone, maybe ash, but they feel more like stone.

Afternoon Thoughts

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011............2:28p.m.

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