I attended my home group in Paisley tonight. My friends Harold and Carol picked me up at home and took me to the meeting. I have yet to drive at night since the big snow fall. I am not sure if that is cowardly, lazy or smart, probably a little of all three. I was surprised when they acknowledged my 24 years at the Group. It was a pleasant surprise. It is nice to have friends again. It is very hard to trust others when you don't trust yourself and I didn't trust myself when I arrived here. I had apparently been so wrong about so many people who I had thought were friends.......enough, I don't want to go there tonight. It was a pleasant, even happy night and that is all that is important right now. I was surprised when I buried my Mother, again, last night. I guess I needed to do it and now it is done, I hope.
I went into Port Elgin today at about noon, I have lost the 1/2 lb that I gained, so I am again down 25.2 lbs.
I have agreed to speak at my friend Karen's 15 year birthday in February and I would really like to lose another 10 or 15 lbs in that time, perhaps this is the incentive that I need to make the next big loss. My grandson James told me today on facebook that he reads my blog all of the time and he is learning some things about his own history through it, that pleased me very much. Thank You James. I want to be able to write freely and not be worried that I may hurt someones feelings or shock anyone. When I remember my Grandma when she was my age for some reason I thought she had always been old. This was my Father's mother, my mother's mother died when she was 11 years old. My grandmothers maiden name was Stella Nunnelly. She taught me one of one of the important lessons of my life; she knew how much I liked to read and she bought me a subscription to some kind of child's magazine that came out once a month. It was the first time that I can remember that mail came to me with my name on it. She also told me that the most important book I would ever own was my bank book and she showed me hers. It was probably the first bank book I had ever seen, I can't remember how much money she had in it and it doesn't really matter. She told me that if I took care to always have money I would never have to depend on anyone or be subservient to anyone because of lack of money. I never forgot those words and though it took me years to put them action I did remember and I did put them into action and today if I had to I could look after myself for the rest of my life, at least financially. I wish I had known my grandmother better. My Mother didn't like me being close to her, SURPRISE........I always felt that my Mother didn't like me yet she didn't want anyone else to be close to me. I try to understand that and sometimes I have a better hold on it than others. My grandmother loved me anyway. She had only one child, my father, strange I knew her better than I knew him.
Enough.........none of that tonight. She was married 5 times, I think she buried 3 husbands and divorced the other two. In many ways she was an amazing woman and I remember her with love. Enough for tonight.
December 21st, 2010............11:49p.m.
No comments:
Post a Comment