My Sister's Birthday

My Sister, Peggy Janet O'Niell, was born November 24th 1941 and died December 18th 1994.  She would have been 69 years old today.  We looked nothing alike, yet the last time that I saw her alive, 9 months before her death, I recall both of us saying at the same time "Wow, do you ever look like Mom".  My relationship with my sister was complicated, arn't they all.  I am a first born and she was the baby.  There were only two of us from my Mother's first marriage, but that is how we both always felt.  Dayle, big sister, Peggy, the baby.  Sometimes I think of her as my first child.  As children we looked so different, I was blonde haired, blue eyed, with severe astigmatisms and Peggy had dark hair that lightened as she grew older, she had hugh brown eyes, which worked perfectly and the prettiest smile I can ever remember.  As I remember it I spent most of my early years trying so hard to be invisible while Peggy spent all of hers trying to be noticed.  She liked to entertain, she sang, she was in musicals when she lived in Hamilton.  She sang in talent contests from the age of 10 and always to great applause.  Like me she married young, I was 15 and pregant, she was 17 and pregnant within weeks.  We both wanted so desperately to be out of the house that was called our home.  Niether of us was prepared, yet neither of us ever returned except for short visits.  We both suffered from addictions and we both both eventually sought help in 12 step programs and therapy.  Unfortunately for Peggy it was to little and/or to late.  She died a death of misadventure, although her death certificate says suicide.  Peggy had an unnatural fear of aging and death, she would never have purposely taken her own life.  However, she will never grow old.  Even with all the sibling rivalry and misunderstangings that come from fear and hurt I miss this little girl, woman child with whom I shared a history that only sisters whom endured the same parenting can share.  Good Night Peggy and Happy Birthday Little Sister.
November 24th, 2010   10:15p.m.