Guilt And Shame

For a lot of years I didn't know the difference between guilt and shame, in fact I was unaware that there was a difference.  Today through a lot of learning and studying I do know that there is a difference.  When I am feeling guilt I know that I have done something wrong.  When I am feeling shame I feel that "I Am Something Wrong".  There is a real difference between the two feelings.  And a great deal has to do with your early childhood and the messages that you given in the first few years of life. If you are told often enough that "You Are bad", instead of "What You Did Was Bad" you are going to go though a lot years feeling shame.  I have learned so much through watching others.  I guess that I am a people watcher.  A lot of times I feel like an observer rather than a participant in life, which is probably why I prefer to write rather than talk.

I have watched my own children with their children.  My children are so much wiser than I was.  When they disipline their children they don't say you are bad, they say what you did was not good.  I love you, I will always love you, but I don't like what you did.  What you did was wrong.  What a different and better message that is than you are not good, you are bad.  So, tonight for my children I want to say what a good job you have done as parents and how proud I am of you.

I am cold and tired, so it will be an early night for me.........Until Tomorrow

Saturday, January 29th, 2011.................10:25p.m.