First, Do No Harm

I always thougth that was part of the Hippocratic Oath.  Turns out it isn't.  But it should be. I try to make it part of my code for living, and sometimes that is difficult to do, especially when I feel hurt and betrayed.  It is then that I have to remember that I really don't have to do anything.  Time and Karma will do it for me.  I can move hundreds of miles away and not associate with the people concerned.  All I have to is just live my life and wait.  What you put out into the Universe will come back to you........you can count on it.  That Universal Truth allows me relax and enjoy my life.  It also makes me very aware of what I do and say.  I hope that it makes me kinder and more thoughtful before I open my mouth. 

I have a new book on my "must read" list.  It is called "The Lucifer Effect".  I will order it at the Libray and write on it when I have read it.  It explains how any of us, under the right circumstances can become mean and hurtful.  I think reading it will make me more aware.  I hope so anyway.  I am home tomorrow and if weather permits I will play cards tomorrow night at the Legion.  I will write more when I get home from cards.  More then.............

Sunday, January 30th, 2011.....................10:43p.m.

Guilt And Shame

For a lot of years I didn't know the difference between guilt and shame, in fact I was unaware that there was a difference.  Today through a lot of learning and studying I do know that there is a difference.  When I am feeling guilt I know that I have done something wrong.  When I am feeling shame I feel that "I Am Something Wrong".  There is a real difference between the two feelings.  And a great deal has to do with your early childhood and the messages that you given in the first few years of life. If you are told often enough that "You Are bad", instead of "What You Did Was Bad" you are going to go though a lot years feeling shame.  I have learned so much through watching others.  I guess that I am a people watcher.  A lot of times I feel like an observer rather than a participant in life, which is probably why I prefer to write rather than talk.

I have watched my own children with their children.  My children are so much wiser than I was.  When they disipline their children they don't say you are bad, they say what you did was not good.  I love you, I will always love you, but I don't like what you did.  What you did was wrong.  What a different and better message that is than you are not good, you are bad.  So, tonight for my children I want to say what a good job you have done as parents and how proud I am of you.

I am cold and tired, so it will be an early night for me.........Until Tomorrow

Saturday, January 29th, 2011.................10:25p.m.

"In Youth We Learn. In Age We Understand." Marie Von Ebner

I heard this quote on T.V. the other night and got on the computer to find the authors name.  I am not familiar with this Woman work, but you can be sure I will be researching her.  The longer I live the more I come to realize that growing up takes a long time.  I am no longer sure when youth stops and age begins.  Perhaps it is like the title of the book Luisa (The granddaughter Of My Soul) got me.  It is entitled "Age Only Matters If You Are A Cheese".  If in youth I learn, then I guess I am still young, but if in age I understand then I am old.  Perhaps that makes me middle aged, if I live to be 144 that is.

It has been an interesting couple of days for me.  I found out, in the strangest of ways, that one of the people who benefited greatly from my being terminated from my last job of more than 17 years, was terminated themself.  Isn't life strange?  I hope that this person invested as wisely as I did, however, I doubt it.  Karma, you have to love it.  Enough of that, I don't live there anymore, not even in my head.

Also one of our dogs, Poppy, who I introduced you to in an earlier blog, gave every indication of being ready to give birth Wednesday night.  She was even lactating and somewhat dilated.  I found this strange because aside from some weight gain no one had noticed any signs of pregnancy, of course we weren't looking either.  What surprised me most that she had gotten pregnant at all.  According to everything I know and have read when there is more than one female canine, and we have two, only the Alph female will concieve, that seems to be some kind of law of nature.  And Poppy is definately not the Alpha female.  Six, our German Shepherd is. Anyway, Tami, myself and Jon stayed up half the night just in case. In fact Tami slept downstairs on the couch just in case.  Nothing happened.  Even though Poppy's teats were hugely distended and leaking and she showed every sign of being close to giving birth.  It is possible she had her litter stillborn, or she was suffering from a false pregnancy.  Whatever, she is fine now and running around again.  I find all of this an interesting phenomenon.

My son Michael and his wife Shelia were supposed to arrive this evening, however weather has cancelled their trip again.  As much as I wanted to spend time with them I am glad they are not chancing the weather.
There has been so much snow and whiteouts this winter that I was worried about them driving here.  And now I have something to look forward to next weekend.  This awful weather can't last forever.........can it?

More Tomorrow...............Friday, January 28th, 2011.......10:47p.m.

Written By My Grandson...James D. Fries Entitled "The Right Time, The Right Place"

There are a lot of lessons I've learned over the years... More often than not they were taught to me by my father, reinforced in real life by my mothers love for him, and mirrored in the little ways of my every day life.

The things you put into motion will always have a reaction. Affecting you, your friends, even the people you may never meet.  It might be bad, it might be good, it might not even matter. But the choices you make and the rules you set for yourself will always be amplified in the people you keep close to you. Its a beautiful simplification of the golden rule. The amazing truth that what goes around will come around. Its deeper than that though, the goings and comings around... It doesnt always manifest in such an alpha omega pattern.  The small things you take part in can shape you in such a subtle way that you dont even see them coming.

You see, the things you do wont always define the great moments in your life, the foundation for the greatest moments in your life will also be the things that happen to you.  Its not to say you cant put your own wind into your own sails. You have to steer the boat, and you will.

But you can never forget the force of the fates.  Its not destiny, its not precognition.  Its the little things so small you never even knew they happened. A butterfly flaps its wings in Peiking, you get rain in central Kitchener. A caterpillar wraps itself in a rainsoaked cacoon, you get sunshine on a November afternoon.  Its a cautious step out your front door, and your life can change forever.

Its scary to think of it, all these little parts of the machine, all working in perfect unison to make sure you get where you're supposed to be, but its also kind of wonderful. The world that gave us life, whispering that sweet story to us all, the comedy, the tragedy, the life, the death, and of course the growth.

Its a big deal, this world of ours. No one likes to think about how little control is actually there, the pushings and the swayings. Showing us amazing new treasures daily that are not of our own persuit.  Its a strange existance when all is told. Who can love and harm with such transparent ambivalence.  Taking and giving with with such an apparent lack of precedence.  What ever we're doing here has some amazing way of working out though.

It seems to put us exactly where we're supposed to be. Just when we're supposed to be there.




-not done yet. drunk, going to bed. 6:51am, January 24th 2011


Thank You James For Allowing Me To Share Your Work With My Friends
I am so proud of you and I love you.........Grandma

Losses

Before I left my job (before I was terminated), I was already working on a new project in my mind.  I wanted to start a new group and I wanted to call it "Losses".  Through my own lifes experiences and the shared experienced of many people that I worked with, I had come to realize that most of us needed to complete our grieving.  I don't mean grieving a loss through death.  Strangely enough that is the one time when we are allowed, even encouraged to grieve.  I am talking about the losses that everyone experience during their lifetime.  What about the loss of a marraige or relationship?  You know, when everyone tells you there are lots of fish in the sea.  Doesn't that always make you feel better???  Maybe it is just me but during those times I wasn't interested in fish or anything else, only the pain and hurt I was feeling.  And on the rare occasion that I did trust someone enough to share my feelings with them I was quite often told by these well meaning people to stop feeling sorry for myself, get off the pity pot.........a lot of things that made me learn to swallow my feelings, until these feelings lay in my gut in a heavy lump.  I swallowed these feeling with booze, pills, food and anything else that I could find.

There are so many losses, I will just name a few that I have had myself or people I care for have experienced.  I have a couple of women friends and family member who have lost their Mother while she is still living.  Their Mother has Alzhiemers or Dementia.  This must be worse in many ways than losing them to death.  Your parent is still alive but doesn't know who you are.  Sometimes your being there scares her.  You feel guilt for not going to see her and sadness and frustration when you do see her.  I have treated people who suffered from schitzophrenia.  In my experience these, who are usually diagnosed in their late teens or early twenties are quite intelligent.  I remember one young woman who was diagnosed during her first year of university, she was on a full schiolarship, so she had to very intelligent.  During her second year she had to drop out of school, the drugs necessary to control her symptoms dulled her mind and if she didn't take them the voices made her life unbearable. Telling her to "pull herself together" God, I hate that term, didn't really help her much.

When I moved here I still wanted to start a "Losses" group.  I guess I still do.  I already belong to a 12 step group and I know they don't like to hear that the answer to everything is not in their program, but guess what guys........it's not.  I will give this some more thought and write more about it tomorrow.  As the bewitching hour is here and I am getting tired.

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011..............11:57p.m.

More About My Baby

I had just turned 23 years old when I realized that I was pregnant with my fourth and last child.  Seeing as I am being as honest I can be, I have to tell you I was not thrilled at that moment.  I already had 3 children, the youngest being 5 months old and I was raising 3 step daughters, and of course I was 23 years old.  The other really strange thing was that I thought I couldn't have been pregnant.  By that time I definately knew what caused pregnancy.  When I brought this to my Doctors attention he said a few things like "being a sound sleeper" which I wasn't and still am not, although I sleep much sounder now than I did when I had a 5 month colicky baby boy right beside me.  However, I was pregnant and when my Doctor told me that there was a good chance I would not carry this child and if I did this would be the last child I could ever have, my attitude changed dramatically.  I went right from "Oh Shit, I can't be pregnant again" to "What do you mean I may not carry this baby and I can never have another, I am only 23 years old".  Suddenly this unborn child became the most important thing in my world.  As it turned out I had uneventful pregnancy and a very easy delivery.

On September 5th, 1961, a Tuesday morning, my second born child, first daughter, started school.  And I was in labour.  I decided that I wasn't going to hospital until I put her on the school bus for her first day of school.  While I brushed her hair, dressed her in her new outfit and talked her through her first day nervousness, I was doubling in half with labour pains.  Finally the bus arrived, I kissed her goodbye and she got on the bus.  By this time the pains were about 5 minutes apart.  My husband shoved me into the car, I think he was more frightened than I was, and we drove to the hospital.  I arrived at the hospital at about 8:50a.m. I tried to tell the admitting nurses or clerks that I was minutes away from delivering, but anyone of you who has ever delivered a baby knows that these people are in no hurry, and anyway they know MUCH more than you...................finally at 8:57a.m. I was admitted as a patient and at 9:03a.m. Tami Iola MacCharles was born.

This was the pink and white baby girl that I had been waiting for all of my life.  She was perfect, not a blemish anywhere.  I enjoyed every minute of her infancy.  She was such a good, happy baby.  I remember thinking this is the last time I will ever have an 8 day old baby, a 9 day day old baby, etc etc.  I did something with this baby that I had never done with my others.  When she was put in my arms, while she was attached to my body, I welcomed her to the world.  Many years later I would find out that this was an important rite of being born.  You should welcome your child to the world, especially to your world.  I told her how glad I was that she was born and that she was here.  How I had a place ready for her, not only a physical place but an emotional place in my heart and in my soul.  I had this talk with her while she was still physically attached to me, before the cord was cut.  I knew she was the last baby to come from my body and I honoured her, however she got there.  She was here now and she has been my joy ever since.  Thank You Tami; for being born and being born to me.

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011...............11:33p.m.

My Baby

Hey!!!!! I am so excited.  I did this almost by myself.  Jon helped a little bit, but Jasmines instuctions last night, which I wrote down, that seems to be the only way I can process information, by writing it down step by step, got me through being able to put pictures on my blog.

This beautiful woman is my daughter, My Baby.  I have so much to say about her.  She is my last child.  After her I knew I couldn't do better and stopped trying.  I will write about her tomorrow night.  I am tired tonight, I think all of the company and the storm has made us all tired here.  I notice the rest of the family are yawning also.  So more tomorrow.

Saturday, January 22th, 2011..........10:33p.m.

First Born And Wife In Snow Storm In Boston

While Jasmine, my granddaughter, is visiting she is teaching to insert pictures in my blog.  Since I write so much about my first born,and they take and send so many pictures I thought I would share some with you.  I mentioned in an earlier blog that my son and his wife went to boston on Christmas afternoon.  There was a snowstorm in Boston during their stay and these are pictures they sent me.  So, I am happy to introduce you to my "First Born".  I told you he was good looking.

We are having our own snowstorm here right now and possibly my granddaughter and great granddaughter may be here an extra day.  Thank you Jasmine for the help.

Friday, january 21, 2011................8:47p.m.

Family

 

This afternoon my granddaughter Jasmine, her mother and her daughter Alexandra Tilly (Lexie) arrived for a visit.  As you can see by the above pictures both my granddaughter and great granddaughter are exceptionally beautiful females.  This fortunately is true of all my family.  I asked Jasmine if she could put pictures in my blog and obviously she can.  I am glad to share these with you.  Jasmine, her mom and baby will staying until early Saturday morning.  All of my granddaughters hold their own special place with me.  Jasmine is the granddaughter of my heart.  I was able to spend a couple of hours alone with her this afternoon.  This is very precious time for me as it doesn't happen very often.  They live in Hamilton and particularly this time of year we don't get to see each other very often.  I had 4 great grandchildren born in an 8 month period of time last year and Lexie is the only girl baby.  I will spend the rest of the evening with my granddaughter and her daughter.  Tonight I am grateful for my family, all of my family.  Until Tomorrow......

Thursday, January 20th, 2011.............9:49p.m.

"In The End We Will Remember Not The Words of Our Enemies But The Silence Of Our Friends"

This is a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. when I heard it on Oprah the other day I grabbed a pen and wrote it down so I could quote him correctly.  I remember the silence of those whom I considered friends and I remember that pain and disbelief that accompanied that silence.  I am sure that I have guilty of remaining silent at times also, but those times would be few.  If anything I was more apt to get in shit for opening my mouth when I witnessed an injustice.

It is almost midnight and I am tired.  It is to late tonight to write extensively on this topic or any other.  I just wanted to introduce the topic while it was fresh in my mind.  And I don't want to go to that painful time in my head.
I am grateful for my belief, no not belief, my absolute knowkledge that what goes around always comes back around, and then some.  I may touch on this subject tomorrow, perhaps I won't have to, just maybe writing it is enough for now.....Off to bed now.

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011..............11;48p.m.

A Good Day

I didn't blog last night.  I went out in the afternoon yesterday, quite brave for me, maybe to brave, because I got stuck in the driveway coming back in.  My daughters home is a big, old farmhouse.  It has a very long laneway that runs the entire length of a field.  I love this house, probably because I love the people in it and the warmth and love that lives here.  However, the driveway can be a challenge, especially in the winter,  because there are open fields on either side the wind blows right across with nothing to stop it.  There can be large drifts accumulate in the driveway very quickly and that is what happened yesterday.  I made it halfway up the driveway then got totally stuck.  I had to walk the rest of the way to the house.  That was my exercise for yesterday.  I watched T.V. until 11:00p.m. and took a library book and went to bed.

I miss it when I don't blog.  I feel like I have left something undone, even when I don't have anything important to say, I must be kidding, I always have something to say.  Today was a better day weather wise anyway.  And I had two phone calls from old friends, which made it an especially good day.  Thank you Carol and Jim.  I will be glad when the weather allows me to travel a little more.

Tami told me today that my granddaughter Jasmine, her Mother and Jasmine's new baby girl Lexie will be coming for a visit this Friday.  This is exciting news and I am anxious to see them.  I have only held Lexie once since she was born at the end of May.  She is the most beautiful baby girl I have seen since since my own baby girl was born and I am anxious to see them.  I will most definately write more tomorrow when my mind has settled a little.  I am happy tonight and I am grateful for that.

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011...............11:26p.m.

Home

It has been over a week since I blogged and I have missed it.  I couldn't seem to bring up my blog on my clients computer and I hate messing with someone else's computer.  I don't have the knowledge or experience with computers to fix them if I screw up, so I just didn't.

It is so good to be home.  I must be a strange creature, well of course I am a strange creature, I know that, hell anyone who knows me at all knows that.  I really like the idea of being alone, I even enjoy the time alone, sometimes.  But a part of me wants to be home too, misses the familiarity of home and family.  I spent a few days completely alone except for the dogs and cats.  I enjoyed my "solitary indulgences".  I watched movies and T.V. undisturbed and read until my eyes hurt.  I felt somewhat lonely, yet was annoyed when company showed up.  When I am alone I sometimes go into dangerous territory, my mind.  I should never go there alone, at least not for long periods of time.  I listened to radio for short periods.  I heard a song I havn't heard for awhile, the title is "I Haven't Got Time For The Pain" this a Carley Simon song and is one of my favorites.  I listened to the words, all of the words.  Years ago I used to sing/hum this song.  I would only sing the first two lines "I haven't got time for the pain, I haven't got room for the pain, then I would hum the remainder.  Do you know what the third line is?  "I Haven't The Need For The Pain Anymore."  I wonder why I only became aware of those words years after it being one of my favorite songs.  perhaps I needed the pain before, perhaps sometimes I still do.  If so, I hope those times become further and further apart.  I don't know why I keep revisiting painful parts of life, times when I was hurt and hurting, times when I was so betrayed.  Perhaps it is to try to find resolution or closure to certain issues.  Perhaps there is no closure to certain issues in our life, possibly only time lessens the pain.  I don't know.  I am learning that there is so much I don't know, so much that I will never know.

There was a really bad snow storm yesterday and last night.  I could hear the wind screaming, trying so hard to find a way in through the tiny spaces between the windows and the frames.  The house I was looking after is a converted schoolhouse.  It is charming and tastefully done.  I really like it.  I feel safe there.  Houses have personalities, almost always brought there by the people who inhabit them.  These are good, kind people and the personality of the house shows it.  I watched the snow blow into the patio doors and cover my car and bird feeders and listened to wind scream and felt safe.  The house is heated entirely by a wood stove.  The stove has a glass door and I could see the flames dancing inside, when I opened the door to add more logs I could see and feel the hot coals, something about this made me feel secure and warm.  It is strange, or maybe not that seeing warmth makes me feel warm.  I was glad when this afternoon I was able to come home to my family here.  It took a little while because the long driveway to this house had to be blown out before I left the schoolhouse.
Now I am HOME and so glad to be here.  I will sleep a sounder tonight than I have for the last week, just knowing my family are in the rooms across and down the hall from me and I am in my room, in my own bed.
Thank You to the Universe and whatever force that has provided this for me...........More Tomorrow.

January 16th, 2011..................8:57p.m.

From Me To Me

I am sending or trying to send myself my blog.  I am working for a week, looking after 2 dogs, 4 cats and a house full of plants.  While I am there I want to be able to blog.  This is a week I will indulge in a lot of my "Solitary Indulgences" like watching one movie after another, reading book after book and other things that usually make me guilty for not doing productive.  Perhaps writing my blog is something productive or maybe it is just another solitary indulgence.

I came home from Harold's this afternoon.  When I left his place it was sunny and the roads were clear.  As I got closer to North Bruce there was more snow and the roads were getting worse.  The last 20 kilometers were a nightmare.  The roads were white, with a lot of snow, the fields are piled high with snow and the air was full blowing snow.  I felt like I was driving blind.  Tami and Dennis were surprised to see me.  They were going to come and get me tomorrow.  It is a good thing I didn't know what the weather was here, a half hour north of where I was.  I was grateful to get home, very grateful.  No place looks as good as home anytime but today it looked better than ever.  O.K. going to try to E mail myself the blog now.

January 7th, 2011..............9:17p.m.

A Dream

I was thinking today that this was to be my dream journal too.  Although I, like everyone else, dream every night, with me especially in the early morning, I tend to forget the dream.  I am going to start keeping a pen and a pad of paper on my night table.  I have found in the past when I was actively dream journaling that if I write down 3 words pertaining to the dream I will recall the entire dream with no problem.  The last dream that I remember vividly was a couple of weeks ago and it was very short.  I dreamed that I was looking at a  little girl, a 3 year old, for some reason I knew she was three.  She was beautiful, in fact I recall thinking that she was perfect.  She was very blond, although I could not see her hair because she was wearing a red bonnet, the kind that ties under your neck.  She had a red matching coat.  The coat came to her knees and the strange thing about the coat was that it was fitted at the waist.

In the dream I examined this child carefully, although I did not approach her or touch her.  I looked at her hands and fingers and thought she is perfect.  I think the little girl was me, or it could have my daughter Tami.  It had to be one of us, because I have never known any child who was as blond and fair skinned as we were.  It probably was me.  Perhaps at 3 years old I was perfect; unsoiled, still innocent.  This tiny girl was not smiling, but she wasn't crying either.  Whenever I drag my memories of myself back that far it is always summer and I am always dirty, well dusty anyway, and I am always crying.  Not sobbing, just tears running down my face leaving a streak on my dusty face.  What a strange way to remember the little me.  But perhaps when I was three I was still perfect.

I told this dream to a friend of mine.  When I did that I kind of forgot about it, not completely because this "wonder child" still rides in my subconscious.  I am glad that I was able to view her if only for a few minutes.

January 5th, 2011...................11:34p.m.

Useless (Maybe Not) Information

It is quite possible that what I find interesting, in fact fascinating may be usless information to others.  In that case this can be your and my useless information blog.  My latest word "schitzophonia"; a term coined by R. Murray Schafer to describe the splitting of an original sound and its electroacoutic reproduction.  Perhaps the word grabbed my attention because of my previous work and my general interest in words, but what really caught my attention was when the speaker explained the distortion between what you are seeing and what you are hearing that happens when exposed to to much loud, annoying, repetitive sound to often.  Of course as a great enjoyer of silence, boy I guess I am really old, I worry when I observe young people with ear phones who are listening to "music?" that is so loud that I find it loud and I am not wearing the earphones.
There is also something genetic going on.  For a 70 something woman I still have exceptional hearing, a trait that I have passed on to most of children and a few of my grandchildren.  When I was a younger woman my children thought I was somewhat witch like, perhaps I was, and I think my exceptional hearing played a part in that.

I have had friends who are really uncomfortable with silence, I suppose I still do.  Maggie, a friend from many years ago comes to mind immediately.  I can recall her inviting me to lunch and as soon as we walked into her apartment she went directly to the stereo and pushed a button and music flowed out, she also walked to the T.V. and turned that on, with the volume fairly loud.  We never watched T.V.  perhaps it was just habit with her.  She walked in the door and turned on two noise making appliances and then sat down to talk to you.  I like silence, let me change that, I like quiet.  There is no such thing as silence, as I write this, everyone is in bed except me, T.V, video games and radio is off, but the fridge is humming, the furnace is running and I am suffering from a bit of tinnitus, so my ears are ringing.  Part of being 70 something I guess.  I like natural noise.  I like to hear birds, water running in a creek, wind in trees and things like that.  Probably absolute silence would frighten me and quite possibly it doesn't exist.  And perhaps I am just tired as it is now offically tomorrow.  just wanted to share my new word with you.

January 4th/5th, 2011............12:09a.m.

"Disease" Dis Ease

I think we all know what we are hearing when we hear "Like" and dislike, "Appear" and disappear.  We are hearing opposites of the first word.  How about "Ease" and disease?  According to Webster Merriam dictionary hear are the definations for "Ease"...The Stare Of Being Comfortable; as

(1) Freedom from pain or discomfort
(2) Freedom from care
(3) Freedom from labor or difficulity
(4) Freedom from embarressment or constraint

So, I am going to take a wild guess and assume that Disease means just the opposite.  This little exercise helps me understand people who are chronically tired and depressed, or sick.  They are Dis Eased.  This helps me to understand myself a little better and makes it easier for me to do something, take some action, when I recognize any of these things in myself or others.  I wanted to share that with you tonight.

My Princess went home tonight.  I think everyone here will miss her.  She added laughter and little girlness to this home, something that Princess's are pretty good at.  Dennis was back to work and Jon back to school.  The rythmn of life returning to pre holiday time.  Will post more tomorrow.  Good Night Princess and All.

January 3, 2011........11:32p.m.

To A Friend

This is a short post.  I want to send a link to my friend and this is also the only way that I know to do it.  Hello Carole.  I hope your Mom is alright and on the mend.  This is the life and blog of A 70 Something Woman.  You have some years to go yet, hopefully when you get there you will look back on this and remember your friend.  Will write more later about "disease" or dis ease, something I was discussing with another friend today.

January 3rd, 2011.........4:58p.m.

A 4 Year Old Princess, A 50 Year Old Son and The Disiderata

It is Sunday night and I have just watched Shreck III with a 4 year old Princess, then I read the last post from my 50 year old son (I Love You Rusty) and I read the Disiderata.  I read this at the beginning of every year.  For anyone interested my sons blog is on this site.  It is entitled "100 Acres Of Canadian Wilderness", and is well worth the read.  For tonights blog I am going to do part, maybe all of the Disiderata.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and agressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortune of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for hight ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
especially do not fiegn affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the councel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings
Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a Child Of The Universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And wheather or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the the Universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive him to be,
and whatever your labours and asperations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace within your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann...................copyright 1952

January 2nd, 2011............10:02p.m.

The First Day Of 2011

It turned out the first day of 2011 was warm, almost sweater weather.  Most of the snow dropped in December 2010 melted.  Tonight however it has dropped below freezing again.  I came home to spend part of New Years day with my family.  We had a steak dinner, delicious as usual.  I don't think my daughter could make a bad dinner if she tried.  I spend a couple of hours with Savannah, our 4 year old Princess.  She got dressed up in her princess dress and we had our pictures taken together.  I am going to have my grandson teach me how to put pictures on my blog so I can share them with you.  I think our Princess will be going home tomorrow or Monday.  My eldest son and my daughter in law went to Boston Christmas night, their plan was just to stay the weekend.  Then the blizzard happened.  They rented a car and drove home because they would have had to wait 4 days to get a flight.  I have pictures from them of the blizzard in Boston.  If I can I will post a couple of pictures from them also.  It is good to be home again, to be with family. On Monday Dennis returns to work and Jon returns to school and life will find its natural rhythm again.  Goodbye 2010 and hello 2011.

January 1st, 2nd/2011...........12:10a.m.