Today is the 7th of May. I always enjoy this month, however, this year I seem to be more aware of being happy. This can be a kind of scary feeling for me. I think I am afraid of being happy. When I have been happy in the past it seems like something has always happened to jerk me out of that state of being. Even as a very young child I can remember laughing and then hearing my mother's voice
"What are laughing at? Whats so God Damned funny?" Of course the same went for crying, "What are you crying about? There is nothing to cry about. I'll give you something to cry about." These old messages are still in my head and they always will be. It is my 70 something job to go back and reassure the 7 year old little girl that it is safe to be happy.
I am sure that I am not the only adult hat carries these messages, we all carry decades old messages that were permanently planted in our child self. For myself, I have found that the more grateful I am for the things and people in my life the happier I am. I love the new green colour of the leaves. This colour only last for a week or 10 days then that new green colour begins to darken, so I always spend a lot time during the first 2 weeks of may looking at new leaves. This is the time of year when I think of our planet as "The Good Earth".
Today is the Birthday of my grandson Rusty Roy and of my grand daughter in law Stephanie, who makes the beautiful babies. All kinds of wonderful things happened on May 7th including the launching of the space shuttle Endeavour in 1992. Happy Birthday Rusty Roy and Stephanie.
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013........................12:25p.m.
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