"Nearly All Men Can Stand Adversity, But If You Want To Test A Man's Character, Give Him Power".

This is a quote by Abraham Lincoln.  I found it at the beginning of a book by Denise Mina.  Every so often I run across words like these; I read them, then read them again, close the book and ruminate on the words.  They stay in my mind until I finally write them and explore them.  It brings me back to "Power Corrupts And Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely".

It is difficult to not let power change you.  Sometimes it is easier to deal with adversity, adversity is something most of us are familiar we and in familiarity there is a kind of comfort.  For me the feeling is something like "oh yea, I know this place, I have been here before.  I know exactly where I am, I am not lost. (for me being lost is probably my number 1 fear).

 In my life when I was put in a position of authority (and I was put there, I am sure I didn't apply for it) what I felt was a whole lot of responsibility.  My last position of authority was with the Ministry Of Health, I came to Executive Director of that organization more by attrition than anything else.  However, because I strongly believed in the values of the Organization, I worked very hard to make it work and I enjoyed every day that I did it,.  There were no doubts times when I used my authority for my good and more times when I used it for the good of someone else, who needed an advocate for them.  People with Mental Health issues have very little if any voice of their own.

It is hard even for me to believe that I was as naive as I was at 68 years old, when I was undermined by others who wanted that position for their own selfish and somewhat sinister ideas.  I was even told months before the betrayal to be careful of these people.  I didn't really pay enough attention to the people warning me.  I was "terminated", God don't you love that word?  I felt terminated, or exterminated and the slimy people got their way,  It took less than 3 years to destroy completely what it took me 17 years to build.  Forgiving these people is the hardest thing I ever did.  And when I did it, I did it for myself so I could move on.

That is my story of having power.  I haven't touched on the smaller things about having power, like having power over small children or women or minority's.  All of which I witnessed.

Afternoon Thoughts

Thursday, April 18th, 2013.........5:46p.m.