July and Half Of August

It seems the longer I put off blogging the harder it becomes.  So many things happen, I think I should blog about, (I KNOW I should blog about them) but I don't; then I almost become uncomfortable, apprehensive, who I am kidding, I feel fear to start again.  It is liking losing touch with a loved one, more and more time goes by and it gets harder and harder to make that call.  I really blog for myself and except for 2 or 3 people that I know read it no one probably even reads it,

Babies have been born in my family, others celebrated their 4th and 2nd and 5th birthday/  My son has turned 54 and my daughter will celebrate her 53rd birthday soon,  New pets have joined our household, one a cat named Bert was killed on the road.  Ernie, his brother is still with us.  Bert has been replaced by Jeepers, a tiny scrap of baby kitty whom we didn't think would live thru the day when we rescued him,  Today he running around the house, jumping, tumbling and doing baby kitty things bringing joy only infant animals, baby humans included can do.

There has been good news, my daughter is finished working nights and has a line on an interesting job, my youngest grandson has a good paying summer job, with which he is paying off the loan given him after the accident.  People have died, some we know, some we didn;t like Robin Williams.  I am sure over the summer people around me have fought to hangon and some people have fought to let go.  I have tried to make decisions that other see as black and white and I see as many shades of grey.  I am not nearly as sure of things at 75 as I was at 35,  I see this as a good thing, possibly others see it as my floundering to make up my mind and being indecisive.

We had baby chicks this year.  I think we got them in mid May and they buthchered a week or two ago.  Those tiny yellow chicks wieghed just a few ounces and are 5 pound chickens in our freezer now.  As for the weather, this was my kind of summer........cool.  Many missed the extreme heat, not me, heat is hard on me, always has been,  I am carrying about 50 lbs of extra weight.  My knees hurt all the time, making excersizing painful, making weight loss almost impossible.  I seem to go round and round with this problem,  I have almost made peace with myself and this issue.  I will be 76 years old this November and I want to enjoy these years and food is something I enjoy,

I have attended many of my12 step meeting groups, as the roads are good,  I have nurtured and cared for my friends in this group and they have loved and comforted me back.  As in any group many new people are coming for help, some will stay and get their health and life bacl.  Unfortunately others will not stay, possibly I will see them around the tables in a year or so, maybe not....... inevitably some will die.  I give what I can and do what I can.  I enjoy life as it continues around me.

August 15th, 2012.............8:45 p.m.