"Amputate Your Sense Of Shame"

This is just a part of a quote by Roy H Williams.  The entire quote is:  "Fear is the assassin of success.  Why not bulletproof in 2 easy steps? 1)Make peace with the possibility of failure.
2) Amputate your sense of shame."

There is enough "meat" in those two sentences for a number of blogs.  Tonight I will start with the second step.  "Amputate your sense of shame".

I am thinking now of a blog I did a little while ago, where I gave the example of fear being taught.  If that is almost always true, then in my opinion "shame"  is always taught.  No one is born with a sense of shame.  Someone always has to teach you shame.  In over 70 years of living I have never seen a newborn baby, puppy, kitten, etc etc exhibit shame.

There is enough blame to go around when it comes to the people and societies who advertently or inadvertantly teach shame.  I think schools and churchs are outstanding examples of how to impose shame on innocent children.  How many of us hasn't stood at the front of the class with our faces red and our heads bowed as we gave a wrong answer or totally forgot what  we had memorized and prepared to regurgitate in front of a teacher and class.  And what about presenting at a work related function?  That is really fun as we stumble for the words.  I have reread my own blogs after spell checking (or not) and realize that I have typed the same word twice.  I always feel the warmth in face when that happens; because I know that you will know that I made a mistake.  Even understanding why I make this mistake (because my brain works a lot faster than my fingers.  Thank God or I would be here all day.)

The only tool I have found that works for me is at the very beginning of a presentation is to say something like there is very good chance I may mess, funk this up, depending on my audience, because I am not perfect and I have a whole other life when I am not here; however, I will do my best to present the content as clearly as possible and take questions later.  I never claim to be an expert on anything except myself, my feelings and my experiences...........That helps sometimes........

Wednesday, April 24th, 2013.........9p.m.

"Nearly All Men Can Stand Adversity, But If You Want To Test A Man's Character, Give Him Power".

This is a quote by Abraham Lincoln.  I found it at the beginning of a book by Denise Mina.  Every so often I run across words like these; I read them, then read them again, close the book and ruminate on the words.  They stay in my mind until I finally write them and explore them.  It brings me back to "Power Corrupts And Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely".

It is difficult to not let power change you.  Sometimes it is easier to deal with adversity, adversity is something most of us are familiar we and in familiarity there is a kind of comfort.  For me the feeling is something like "oh yea, I know this place, I have been here before.  I know exactly where I am, I am not lost. (for me being lost is probably my number 1 fear).

 In my life when I was put in a position of authority (and I was put there, I am sure I didn't apply for it) what I felt was a whole lot of responsibility.  My last position of authority was with the Ministry Of Health, I came to Executive Director of that organization more by attrition than anything else.  However, because I strongly believed in the values of the Organization, I worked very hard to make it work and I enjoyed every day that I did it,.  There were no doubts times when I used my authority for my good and more times when I used it for the good of someone else, who needed an advocate for them.  People with Mental Health issues have very little if any voice of their own.

It is hard even for me to believe that I was as naive as I was at 68 years old, when I was undermined by others who wanted that position for their own selfish and somewhat sinister ideas.  I was even told months before the betrayal to be careful of these people.  I didn't really pay enough attention to the people warning me.  I was "terminated", God don't you love that word?  I felt terminated, or exterminated and the slimy people got their way,  It took less than 3 years to destroy completely what it took me 17 years to build.  Forgiving these people is the hardest thing I ever did.  And when I did it, I did it for myself so I could move on.

That is my story of having power.  I haven't touched on the smaller things about having power, like having power over small children or women or minority's.  All of which I witnessed.

Afternoon Thoughts

Thursday, April 18th, 2013.........5:46p.m.