"Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional"

I am not exactly sure who first said this, but I do know it comes from a Zen Master.  I like the word, I agree with the words, it is just that at the time of being in pain the words don't help a whole lot.  When the pain first arrives, be it physical or emotional, I am to immersed in the pain to even remember the words.  There are some pains that only an anethesetic or time, lots of time, can heal.  Even then it isn't really healed, possibly it is numbed or dulled but not healed, at least not for me.

Sometimes I find physical much easier to deal with than emotional pain.  I do not have a high pain tolerance, so I usually deal with physical pain quite fast.  I will show up at an emergency room or my Doctors pretty quickly with physical pain and I will loudly proclaim my discomfort.  I will seek relief from my physical pain almost immediately.  My emotional pain I seem to deal with quite differently.  I live in my emotional pain for long periods.  I can almost get comfortable there.  I can withdraw, cocoon, eat myself fat, sleep myself silly and do all kinds of self medicating.  The best remedy for emotional pain for me is to talk about it, in fact for me that is probably the only remedy.  And for some reason I find talking about it very difficult.  I quite often feel shame for having emotional pain.  Sometimes I feel like it is my own fault, and no doubt sometimes it is.  That doesn't make it any easier to live with, just more difficult to talk about it.

Sometimes I make mistakes, now how easy is that to talk about?  Sometimes I am betrayed by people I care for and trust.  That is also not easy to talk about.  Because I have a strong belief in Karma, there are times I believe that I have done something wrong and what went around is now coming around.  For me when it hurts enough I finally do something about it, be that therapy or talking to a friend or a family member.
You would think that A 70 Something Woman would have learned this lesson a long time ago, wouldn't you?

Afternoon Thoughts

Thursday, October 4, 2012.........6:45p.m.