I think all to often I dwell on the disadvantages of getting older. There really are some good things about being 70 something. For one thing I don't care as much; I am not sure that I ever cared a lot, probably not, at least not as much as most people seem to care, or perhaps I just care about things that most people don't...whatever.
I can remember the years and years and years that I went to work every morning. Many of those mornings I would think, "I would love to sleep in this morning". Now I make a point of sleeping in almost every day. For as far back as I can remember, at least 65 years, reading has been my favorite thing to do. Now I bring about 6 books home from the library every week and sometimes I get 5 of them read. I used to always say "One of my greatest regrets is that I will never live long enough to read the books in the world'. I still won't but at least I am working on it. I also very much enjoy writing, now I at least write a blog. I have had a book in my head for many years, it is called "Living In Other People's Houses", a series of short stories that would be mostly autobiographical.
What I wear has never been of great importance to me, now I can definitely live by my clothing motto.
"Is It Clean And Does It Fit?"
There have been times in my life when I would be concerned that I enjoyed observing life more than participating in it; now I just let myself enjoy observing. I don't have to work, so when I do I make sure I am doing something I enjoy; I spend time caring for animals and "Living In Other People's Houses". No one expects me to do a lot of housework, which I never did do anyway, only now I don't feel guilty about it.
Afternoon Thoughts
Saturday Afternoon, October 27th, 2012......4:21 p.m.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Gratitude
I have been wanting to write this blog for at least a week. During that time I have been more aware of all that I have to be grateful for than usual. I think, I hope that never a day goes by that I don't have moments of gratitude for all the good things in my life.
I live the most wonderful family in the world, and everyone who knows them even slightly agrees with me. There is much love in this household. Jonathon, my youngest grandchild, has a friend who lived with us for awhile. After a couple of weeks of living with us, he told me one day "I have never lived in a house where everyone likes each other". Those words have stuck with me, I thought at the time how very sad, then I remembered that in the house where I grew up, not everyone liked each other and we all spent a lot of time dealing with our negative emotions. Mine was fear, fear of my Mother and almost everyone else. It wasn't a home, it was a house, and a scary one most of the time.
My health is not perfect but it is good. For the past 2 years I have suffered, and suffered is the right word, with pain in my knees. Last week I went to my Dr and he told me that I didn't need a knee operation but I did need relief from the pain. Now I have pain relief available when I need it. What a relief that is. I have been walking around for months fearing an operation, now, not only do I not need one but I have medication for the pain. I am grateful that I have a new Dr. who seems to really care about me being comfortable. Now when I wake up in the morning with a lot of pain in my knees I know that I don't face the entire day and night with that pain.
My youngest son, Rusty, has been working for a friend of mine for the past 10 or 11 days. I have spent three of those days and nights with him and my friend. I love spending time with my children. I still marvel at the wonderful, unique, and talented people that came from my body.
I have family, friends, interests, and I am loved and able to love in return. Life has given me so many gifts and I am truly grateful.
Afternoon Thoughts
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012................2:22p.m/
I live the most wonderful family in the world, and everyone who knows them even slightly agrees with me. There is much love in this household. Jonathon, my youngest grandchild, has a friend who lived with us for awhile. After a couple of weeks of living with us, he told me one day "I have never lived in a house where everyone likes each other". Those words have stuck with me, I thought at the time how very sad, then I remembered that in the house where I grew up, not everyone liked each other and we all spent a lot of time dealing with our negative emotions. Mine was fear, fear of my Mother and almost everyone else. It wasn't a home, it was a house, and a scary one most of the time.
My health is not perfect but it is good. For the past 2 years I have suffered, and suffered is the right word, with pain in my knees. Last week I went to my Dr and he told me that I didn't need a knee operation but I did need relief from the pain. Now I have pain relief available when I need it. What a relief that is. I have been walking around for months fearing an operation, now, not only do I not need one but I have medication for the pain. I am grateful that I have a new Dr. who seems to really care about me being comfortable. Now when I wake up in the morning with a lot of pain in my knees I know that I don't face the entire day and night with that pain.
My youngest son, Rusty, has been working for a friend of mine for the past 10 or 11 days. I have spent three of those days and nights with him and my friend. I love spending time with my children. I still marvel at the wonderful, unique, and talented people that came from my body.
I have family, friends, interests, and I am loved and able to love in return. Life has given me so many gifts and I am truly grateful.
Afternoon Thoughts
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012................2:22p.m/
Thursday, October 4, 2012
"Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional"
I am not exactly sure who first said this, but I do know it comes from a Zen Master. I like the word, I agree with the words, it is just that at the time of being in pain the words don't help a whole lot. When the pain first arrives, be it physical or emotional, I am to immersed in the pain to even remember the words. There are some pains that only an anethesetic or time, lots of time, can heal. Even then it isn't really healed, possibly it is numbed or dulled but not healed, at least not for me.
Sometimes I find physical much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I do not have a high pain tolerance, so I usually deal with physical pain quite fast. I will show up at an emergency room or my Doctors pretty quickly with physical pain and I will loudly proclaim my discomfort. I will seek relief from my physical pain almost immediately. My emotional pain I seem to deal with quite differently. I live in my emotional pain for long periods. I can almost get comfortable there. I can withdraw, cocoon, eat myself fat, sleep myself silly and do all kinds of self medicating. The best remedy for emotional pain for me is to talk about it, in fact for me that is probably the only remedy. And for some reason I find talking about it very difficult. I quite often feel shame for having emotional pain. Sometimes I feel like it is my own fault, and no doubt sometimes it is. That doesn't make it any easier to live with, just more difficult to talk about it.
Sometimes I make mistakes, now how easy is that to talk about? Sometimes I am betrayed by people I care for and trust. That is also not easy to talk about. Because I have a strong belief in Karma, there are times I believe that I have done something wrong and what went around is now coming around. For me when it hurts enough I finally do something about it, be that therapy or talking to a friend or a family member.
You would think that A 70 Something Woman would have learned this lesson a long time ago, wouldn't you?
Afternoon Thoughts
Thursday, October 4, 2012.........6:45p.m.
Sometimes I find physical much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I do not have a high pain tolerance, so I usually deal with physical pain quite fast. I will show up at an emergency room or my Doctors pretty quickly with physical pain and I will loudly proclaim my discomfort. I will seek relief from my physical pain almost immediately. My emotional pain I seem to deal with quite differently. I live in my emotional pain for long periods. I can almost get comfortable there. I can withdraw, cocoon, eat myself fat, sleep myself silly and do all kinds of self medicating. The best remedy for emotional pain for me is to talk about it, in fact for me that is probably the only remedy. And for some reason I find talking about it very difficult. I quite often feel shame for having emotional pain. Sometimes I feel like it is my own fault, and no doubt sometimes it is. That doesn't make it any easier to live with, just more difficult to talk about it.
Sometimes I make mistakes, now how easy is that to talk about? Sometimes I am betrayed by people I care for and trust. That is also not easy to talk about. Because I have a strong belief in Karma, there are times I believe that I have done something wrong and what went around is now coming around. For me when it hurts enough I finally do something about it, be that therapy or talking to a friend or a family member.
You would think that A 70 Something Woman would have learned this lesson a long time ago, wouldn't you?
Afternoon Thoughts
Thursday, October 4, 2012.........6:45p.m.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
The Terminology Of Death
For quite a while I have wanted to write about the words that so often are so often used around death and dying.. Some times these words make me want to laugh and sometimes they make me angry. As a 70 something woman I don't understand why we avoid the words "death, dying and dead". All these words are in the dictionary yet we seem to treat them like we used to treat bad or dirty words.
When someone is ill, terminally ill, we are so reluctant to use the word dying. It amazes me and even amuses me the lengths we go to to avoid using these words. When a person is that ill we like to use different words and phrases, like he/she is doing poorly, after a week or so we move from poor and poorly to failing. Now the dying person is failing, that always makes me think that the dying person isn't trying hard enough, if they would just try a little harder they wouldn't be failing, would they? Most of learned in about grade 4 or 5 that if we were failing we should work harder, study harder then we wouldn't be failing. After usually a length of time failing they "PASS". Apparently in the end everyone passes, no matter how long they were failing.
Even then people don't die apparently. After 'passing" they enter into rest, go to their reward, I guess the reward is for passing. There are a lot of ways that we have found to avoid using the words dead and death. I have found that the 70er I get the stranger this seems. I would like to get my great reward while I am still alive.............just saying.
Afternoon thoughts
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012...........4:18p.m.
When someone is ill, terminally ill, we are so reluctant to use the word dying. It amazes me and even amuses me the lengths we go to to avoid using these words. When a person is that ill we like to use different words and phrases, like he/she is doing poorly, after a week or so we move from poor and poorly to failing. Now the dying person is failing, that always makes me think that the dying person isn't trying hard enough, if they would just try a little harder they wouldn't be failing, would they? Most of learned in about grade 4 or 5 that if we were failing we should work harder, study harder then we wouldn't be failing. After usually a length of time failing they "PASS". Apparently in the end everyone passes, no matter how long they were failing.
Even then people don't die apparently. After 'passing" they enter into rest, go to their reward, I guess the reward is for passing. There are a lot of ways that we have found to avoid using the words dead and death. I have found that the 70er I get the stranger this seems. I would like to get my great reward while I am still alive.............just saying.
Afternoon thoughts
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012...........4:18p.m.
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