This is a quote from my favorite book "The Language Of Letting Go". I talk of this book often, I guess because I read it everyday and it has been so helpfull to me.
It is difficult for most of us to "Not Limit The Future By The Past". To me it seems kind of counter intuitive to not base furure events on past ones. As usual I take this theory to the extreme; example "I have never had a working relationship with the opposite sex. What makes me think this will be any different?"
If you were to know my whole story, you would know my Father abandoned the family when I was 3 years old. I had an elder step brother who was abusive in everyway, including sexually and there were other abusive males in my life before age 7, as well as a Mother was didn't stop this abuse, in fact inflicted her own. So, who in hell would expect me to excel in intimate relationships?
This same thing can be and often is carried over to other area of our lives. Like I tried making a pie 37 years ago and it was terrible and everyone told me so, therefore why would I put myself through that again? What I don't take into consideration is that I have probably learned a lot more aout baking than I knew 37 years ago. Because I was told repeatedly as a child that I was stupid, I spent more years in schools than the average person just to prove, mostly to me that I wasn't stupid anymore. The fact is that I was never stupid. I was frightened, hypervigilant and legally blind for the first 10 years of my life. I wasn't stupid. I was tramatized and suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I was not stupid. It took professional help for me to realize this and even with that help the voices from my childhood can still make me question myself and others. I can still limit my present and my future by my past.
Afternoon Thoughts
Thursday, January 26th, 2012............3:05p.m.
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