I am still climbing out of the deep pit of depression and anxiety. And for reasons unknown, even to me, I have resisted one of the few things that will help; WRITING.
I have always had mixed feeling about storms. Part of me find them exciting and the other part of me finds them very scary. I went to the computer for definition of depression when applied to weather and here is what I found: "once a group of thunderstorms has come together under the right atmospheric conditions they will creat a depression". What a great analogy fior the way I have been feeling. The condition must have been right (I know they were) to cause this atmospheric depression inside my head and body.
For those of you who have been fortunate enough to have never experienced anxiety and depression I will try to explain some of the feelings associated with it. There is always a feeling pending doom. A strong tendency to isolate, a feeling of not being safe, and for me a need of being structured, almost to point of OCD "obsessive compulsive disorder". I may not want to be alone, yet when I am with someone I want to go home. I usually need to talk, yet will feel unable to verbalize. I woked in mental health for many years and know so much about the condition yet I am unable right now to apply that knowledge to myself except on a academic level. There I have started. Will write more on the theory of storms and depression tomorrow.
Thursday, October 28th, 2011...........1:42p.m.
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