Yesterday my Grandson Jonathon was in his first accident as a new driver. I feel the need to write about my relationship with Jonathon as well as the accident.
Approx 19 years ago when my daughter told me she wanted another child I was less than thrilled. And for selfish reasons. Tami, my daughter is my baby and she had two sons; James was 13 and Charles was 12 at the time. I was hoping that now that boys were reaching their teens she would have more time to spend with me. We lived hours away from each oher and we were both working fulltime and were lucky to get together 2 or 3 times a year. I was hoping that would change as her boys became the age they were. I didn't say that of course even though I thought it. Sure enough the next time I heard from Tami she was pregnant. She was 34 years old, which I think is young, and her pregnancy was monitered pretty closely.On April 7th, 1996 Jonathon was born. It was Easter Sunday and through circumstances unplanned by me I was at the Hospital for the birth, My fiance Paul was with me, he was was stage 4 of colon cancer at the time.
Jonathon was a little bit early and a little under 5 lbs. He was also breach and a difficult labour. Because Tami had an epideral and was kept in recovery a little longer a nurse brought out Jonathon. He was naked except for a towel. For some reason the nurse assumed my fiance was the grandpa and put the bay in Pauls arms. This was the first time in his life that Paul had held a newborn and he was really nervous as well as overwhelmed by this less than 5 lb piece of brand new humanity. Paul had a daughter but because of his work she was weeks old before he saw her. I looked at him with this naked little boy in his arms and felt pretty overwhelmed myself.
Jonathon looked so much like my daughter when she was brand new. He even had the same fringe of red hair around his head, and like his Mother that fringe of new penny copper hair came out in a few weeks and platinum blond hair came in. O.K. enough remenicing about my baby and her baby.
When Jonathon was 12 in 2008 my job was abrupted ended with the Ministy of Health. I was shocked, hurt and felt a lot of betrayal. I had my own little mini crisis and Tami came to me because she was concerned. A month or so later she asked me to come here. I accepted, still is shock and emotional pain. The plan was that I stay for a couple of weeks. That was over 6years ago.
During these 6 years I have watched Jonathon turn from a little boy into a young man. What a privledge and a joy that has been. With my own children I was so busy, first mothering, then working, going to school and mothering, that I missed the little nuances that brings a child into adulthood. Being the baby of the family Jonathon was allowed, perhaps even encouraged to remain a little boy much longer than his brothers, My daughter and her husband Dennis are exceptable parents, in my opinion.
About a month ago Jonathon had another rite of passage, he became a licsened driver. He had been driving the tractor and other recreational since he was about 10. Jonathon works part time as well as finishing his last year of high school. Because his dad works in Saskatchewan. Jon was allowed to drive his dads truck to work and back. Before his dad left for out west this time he had a long man to man talk with Jon and promised to be very careful with the truck. Yesterday at about 4p.m. the phone rang and it was Jon's voice I heard. He was crying and almost hysterical. I just asked him where he was and got in my car and went to him. There was police cruiser parked in front of the address and the truck Jon was driving beside it, also a large red van with a dent in the passenger rear side. I got out of my car as quickly as my old knees allowed and went to Jon, who was sobbing and shaking, I just held in my arms as he sobbed "I promised dad I would be careful" over and over and I just held him tighter. The police officer was a woman and the person driving the van was a woman who two sons of her own aged 20 and 22. These two women looked at Jon like they wanted to hug him too. Insurance information was exchanged. The woman police officer and the lady with the van talked with me and it was agreed that she would not contact her Insurance but instead take her car into a repair shop and get an estimate that we could and did decide to pay ourselves. Jon will pay for this through weekly payments.
It was a stressful but loving day. The two women had such compassion for Jon and I think for me.
It felt like everyone involved was doing their best to help this man/child. And I knew my job as a "Grandma" was just to hold this child and reassure him, then help him find a way to deal with it.
THAT IS GRANDMA LOVE,
