The Narration Of Memory

Let me start with the dictionary meaning of narration: "A story or account of events or experiences whether true or ficticious".

I heard the four words in the title on my favorite radio station.  I am sure there were more than four words, however these are the words that sort of burned into my brain.  When this happens I tuneout everything else and my brain goes on it's marathon run.

Now that I am 73 years old, I can tell you about an event that happened when I was 7 or 27 or 47 years old.  I can relate the events exactly as they happened.  Or can I?  Have I changed the story to make myself more of victim and less of the villain?  Have I added or deleted facts that make the story more interesting than it really was?  I may have changed details to make myself look better, or stronger.  And I may have done these things without conscious thought.

I remember talking with my sister when we were both in our 40s.  We were disscussing and remembering a traumatic event that had happened over 20 years ago when we both in our 20s.  I was shocked how differently we rememered the event.  The event was the same, yet our memories and our feelings around the event were so different.  Niether of us were lying, and I am sure that we would have sworn our version of that day and that event was the accurate one.  The mind and memory are strange things.  Possibly we change events or memories to make ourselves more comfortable with the event or perhaps even to keep ourselves sane.

I have been so sick the last week with some kind of virus that I am surprised that I even recall the title of this blog.  I did recall it however, therefore it must have been important to me.  It is good to be back and writing again.

Afternoon Thoughts, Monday,November 28th, 2011.............3:05p.m.

A Harriet Beecher Stowe Quote

"There are more tears shed for Word Left Unspoken and Deeds Left Undone"  That is not the complete quote but it says what I am feeling and thinking right now.  Many times I have missed the opportunity to speak the words I wanted to say, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of embarrassment.  I have also left deeds undone for the same reasons.  I have many examples but for whatever reason can't write them tonight.
Perhaps I will write them in my private journal and read them aloud to myself, just to hear them and see I feel seeing them in print  and hearing them out loud.

I am working for the next three days so that will give time to work on this project.  I will write more when I get home.

Sunday, November 13, 2011........10:41p.m.

My 73rd Birthday

Was wonderful.  It was spent with the people I love most and those who couldn't make it telephoned and/or facebooked me.  At the end of the day I was priviledged to attend a first A.A. Birthday for a lady who has become very special  to me.  I am her A.A. sponser and in that year I have come to love her.  She helped to make my birthday even more special.

I got up on the morning of November 7th, and was kissed by someone who loved me, I walked down the stairs using my own legs, poured a cup of coffee that was made for me by my baby girl, as it is every morning, and like every other morning I whispered a thank you to her.  I went for lunch with a loved one, then came home, to the warm, inviting home where I am so lucky to live.  I took telephone calls from family and friends who couldn't be there while sitting in my so comfortable armchair.  Then had a turkey dinner prepared my baby girl, who manages to look after me with so much love that it doesn't even feel she is doing it.  After dinner I went to the A.A Birthday and saw all kinds of other friends.  I recieved gifts and I am grateful for them; but mostly I am grateful for the loving friends and family that I shared the day with.  It might get better than that...but I have no idea how.

Afternoon Thoughts

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011...........5:28p.m.

Work Untitled.......By My Special Grandson, James D. Fries

                    WORK UNTITLED

Give us your weak, your young and your old. 

And please turn your head while we beat down your bold. 

Oh we'll trade you this Earth, for dollars and gold... 

And hope your mind's not re-arrangin'...

Please look over here, while we go over there,

The times, they are a-changin'.

Did no one not tell you, it is wrong to ask why?

Just shut your damn face while we scorch out your sky,

Oh the truth that we speak, is never a lie,

And we'll spank ya for any complainin'.

Misdirection look left, no detection left, right?

The times, they are a-changin'.

We'll dig and we'll take till-there-no back left to break.

Two sides to the face means we make no mistake,

Oh the stories we tell, are in print so not fake...

Don't ask while we spread that contagion...

We bought up the news and we sold it as trues

Yea the times, they are a-changin'.

We hide ugly truth and we bury the proof.

Investigate not for we'll call you a spoof,

oh and here's your tax break, for when shit hits the roof.

Just oil the machine it needs changin'...

You'll buy and consume and and you won't dare presume,

for the times, they are a-changin'.

We hope you dislike, this wit, song, and dance.

We hope that you'll buy your 200 buck pants

And if you should decide that for once you just cant...

We'll put them on sale so you're savin'

You'll go to your grave, while we still misbehave

Yea we hope, the times are not changin'.

James Fries, 2011

My Grandchildren are all so talented.

Thank you first born of my own baby.

Your Grandma is so proud of you.

Pantheism

Is the view that the Universe (nature) and God (or divinity) are identical. Pantheists thus do not believe in a personal anthropomorphic or creator God.  The word is derived from the Geek (pan) meaning all and the Greek (theos) meaning "God".  A such Pantheism denotes the idea that God is best seen as a process of relating to the Universe.  Although their are divergencies within Pantheism, God is identical with the Universe.

I really like this definition of this possibility.  This is something I could wrap my mind around much easier than what I was force fed as a child.  I like the idea of praying, or asking for help with my eyes open and my head up, rather with bowed head and eyes lowered, I did that enough as a young woman when I was shamebased.

I rather like Pantheism, perhaps I will do more studying on the subject.

Afternoon Thought

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011.............3:07p.m.

Blue Moons

For a long time I didn't know what a blue moon was.  I seem to have a lot of curiosity and when I hear old sayings like "Once In A Blue Moon" eventually I will have to know where that came from amd what it means.  So, just in case you didn't know here it is: A blue moon happens when there are 2 full moons in one month.  I believe a lunar month has 28 days, if you had a full moon on the 2nd of the month you would have another in 28 days on the 30th.  This happens more often than I would have thought, according to my reasearch it will happen 7 times in 19 years.

Just more random trivia but at least I am staying away from the dreaded anxiety and depression.  I don't know why I gather and retain this probably useless information, but there you have it, I do.

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011.....10:14p.m.